Take Care...

There are just so many things to talk about. And I have to be choosy, or you may not read until the end! Ha! (One friend – who will remain nameless – read my last blog and said, “Longest Facebook post ever, but it was great!”) I then went on to tell him that if people have to click on the blog link – they won’t! But they MIGHT read a post on Facebook if they do not have to leave Facebook – so guess what?!?! I’m BAAAA-AAACCCKKK!

How many of you are taking care of yourselves?

How many of you have taken a break from social media, news stations, and other stress-inducing, cortisol producing activities as of late?!?!  Haha! Well, WELCOME to LOVE MORE LESS FEAR!!! I am so glad you are here!

Just today, I reconnected with friends on different apps – one being our website, one on Marco Polo, but I also took a short walk with a friend who met me at work to walk for a short time. I needed to get out of the building and move my body. I needed to share time with someone. There is something that happens when flesh-and-blood friends show up in person. Right?  You can give and receive a quick hug, you can walk, and you can share life. These days these things are so needed.

With Tate in Pilsen

Just last weekend Ken and I took a weekend, so that we could go be with our youngest – IN THE FLESH! IT WAS SO AMAZING TO BE WITH TATE! We got to hug long hugs, eat good food, take slow walks, eat ice cream and talk openly and freely with one another. There was no screen. It was us in the flesh sharing love in the same place. It has been over a year on screens, hearing each other’s voices, yes, but when we are together, in the flesh, the dynamics change. Proximity matters!

Ken struggles with pics! haha! Our friends Dan and Jori, and our Tate

In the same weekend we met up with people who have sustained us, who have taught us, loved us and continued conversations over text, Marco Polo, and social media. But, sitting around the table, eating together again, laughing, crying, and sharing our stories in person heightened and deepened our sense of care, love and being loved. There were so many moments where I felt that we were on holy ground. Those visits changed us and continue to change us for the better. Again, proximity matters!

A couple of weekends ago we took off to be with our oldest daughter and her family. We celebrated our son-in-law’s birthday around the table, eating together, and sharing stories. We wanted to be together, and it had been a while since we had seen them. So we took walks, we sat close, we played games, we laughed and we filled up our love tanks.  And although goodbyes seem to get harder rather than easier, we choose to do this again and again because being WITH each other makes a difference. Proximity changes everything.

There are two different directions I want to go with this.

First, God became ONE OF US! IMMANUEL came to BE WITH us! It wasn’t enough to talk through burning bushes, or open up the Red Sea – God wanted to experience life as a human being WITH us as we travel through time and space. WHAT A GIFT! In my simple and humble opinion – this also reminds me that being human is not a sin! God became a human being! Have you ever thought about the fact that PROXIMITY matters for God TOO!?!?

Again, the song I have loved for years that goes right along with the children’s song  “Jesus Loves Me” is “God with us, so close to us, Immanuel. He walked where I walked. He stood where I stand. He knows my frailty – He understands!” This goes a loooonnnnggggg way for us! The Word (which is GOD/JESUS) BECAME FLESH! And reminding myself of this tells me that flesh and blood MATTER!!!

Tan Man Face Timed us as we were on our way to Tate

Screens suffice for a time – but touching one another, holding one another, walking together in the sunshine while bumping elbows – THIS MATTERS!!!! It could have been enough for God to live within us where we could not see God. But God wanted to be present in physical form to identify with us and remind us of who God REALLY is. Wowsers! Proximity matters so much that scripture talks about Jesus being “moved with compassion” as God-in-the-flesh walks among the crowd. Jesus took on the pain of those who would surround him.

THIS IS WHERE WE COME IN TO PLAY! Proximity to the broken-hearted, the marginalized, the hurting, the struggling…MATTERS! It changes our perspective! It helps us grow in our understanding. It breeds empathy! (Yes, I said that word!) Jesus embodied empathy not just compassion.

How does all of this relate to “taking care of ourselves”?

I am SOOO GLAD YOU ASKED!

The news in the world speaks of revolution, crimes against humanity, the brutality of war, enemies, and so much tragedy and LACK of empathy! How do we combat and rage against such whilst maintaining our focus, energy, work ethic and peace within our nervous system?

PROXIMITY MATTERS!

Time in the present, and in the physical realm of someone else brings laughter, understanding, hope, peace and perspective. It eliminates the effects of blue light, screen time, etc… and takes away the temptation to be retaliatory and vengeful causing us to think before we speak and remember compassion and empathy.

Richard Rohr writes some amazing thoughts on how to “develop inner freedom through practice and solitude” in Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations/CAC.org/Center for Action and Contemplation: Week Fifteen: Wisdom of the Desert. (And this would be the 2nd direction of proximity! Ha! There really is rhyme and reason through all of the twists and turns!)

I want to share with you an excerpt from his writing and thoughts today. They are profound.

“The desert fathers and mothers withdrew from cities to the desert to live freely, apart from the economic, cultural, and political structure of the Roman Empire. The abbas and ammas knew, as should we, that the empire would be an unreliable partner. They recognized that they had to find inner freedom from the system before they could return to it with true love, wisdom, and helpfulness…How do we find inner freedom? Notice that whenever we suffer pain, the mind is always quick to identify with the negative aspects of things and replay them over and over again, wounding us deeply. Almost all humans have a compulsion to fixate almost entirely on what’s wrong, which is why so many people become fearful, hate-filled, and wrapped around their negative commentaries.  This pattern must be recognized early and definitively. Peace of mind is an oxymoron. When we’re in our mind, we’re hardly ever at peace; when we’re at peace, we’re never only in our mind. The early Christian abbas and ammas knew this and first insisted on finding the inner rest and quiet necessary to tame the obsessive mind.” From here, Rohr talks about SOLITUDE!

How do we find it in a crowd?

How do we practice solitude in the midst of the craziness? What if we can’t head to a “desert” per se?

Rohr continues, “The desert mystics saw solitude, in Henri Nouwen’s words, as “the place of conversion, the place where the old self dies and the new self is born, the place where the emergence of the new man and the new woman occurs.” Solitude is a courageous encounter with our naked, most raw and real self, in the presence of pure love. Quite often this can happen right in the midst of human relationships and busy lives.”

Did you hear that?!?!

It was a mic drop moment!!!

We need to get up close and personal with our most raw and real self in the presence (read PROXIMITY) of “PURE LOVE.” This can happen, and I might add SHOULD/WOULD happen if we are in proximity to one another, sitting around the table, sharing our stories, and hearing with our hearts as well as with our ears!

And although there is much to hear that would sadden us – it is proximity to REAL people (read ‘not just screens’) that becomes more like solitude. It is when we are in the same space that we put away the noise of multi-tasking (which is not even a thing) and we are PRESENT – IN THE MOMENT –  facing ourselves and one another in our nakedness of motive, thought and heart. It is here that we find solitude that gives us hope to carry on with the important work of advocating and empathy!

So….how do you connect with the Divine? Do you need to head into nature, take some deep breaths, read a Psalm, do breathwork, pray for yourself, your friends, your family, and the world? Proximity matters!

Connect with the Divine. Connect with YOURSELF. Connect with Others!

Make time to sit around the table. Laugh together. Listen to one another. Again, I would say – get up close and personal! That is the best way to be open, vulnerable and REAL which brings on more solitude and “peace in the midst of the storm.”

Until next time….PEACE!

This was someone's fence on our walk. LOVE IT!

Is this the best?!?! Someone cared enough to paint these on their fence.

We had fun playing pool and meeting new people. This last pic is proof that I was there! Ha!